My first Shaadi

Shaadi is the word for the marriage ceremony here. It takes place over several consecutive days. I read that for as much as Americans spend on their weddings, Indians spend a LOT more, at least in comparison to their earning amounts. In some places a dowry is still required, like the state of Bihar where my roommate is from.

I am not sure about all of the rituals of the wedding ceremony, but I will tell some of them. I just got back from my first Shaadi this evening. I didn't see the whole ceremony, but whenever I go to someone's house here, it is almost inevitable that the mother shows me one of her kid's wedding albums - which is fun, I didn't mean to sound cynical about it. But from this I've gotten an idea of the ceremony.

It seems that often the groom gets a sort of dry bath of turmeric. As I have mentioned before, turmeric (or haldi) is the answer to every ailment, so I imagine a bath in it is a good omen. Usually the groom at some point presents the bride with a whole bunch of nice saris. Oh, another interesting thing (I apologize for the randomness of this) but I asked my roommate if Rs. 500 was enough to give in the card as a gift. She said you should always add Rs 1, so make it Rs 501 for good luck.

Many, I guess middle/upper class weddings, in the cities are held at a party plot. Hindu temples are not like our churches that are meant for many people to gather at once and sit. Instead people come to temples any time of day, but many more at sunrise/sunset, stand before the idol for a few minutes and leave. Since temples can be large or very small, weddings aren't held there like they would be at a church. The party plot is a walled in, big open grass area. The one I went to, was divided in two big spaces.

The actual final ceremony that I saw, both bride and groom were dressed to the hilt. The first space in the party plot, there was a tent where the wedding party was with lots of movable chairs set around. In the corner was a traditional band with singers, drums, and harmonium. Fans and air coolers were set up all around, but luckily there was a good wind. Had it been just a week earlier, the temperature would have been unbearable!

So anyway, the couple was all dressed up, sitting under the tent in fancy chairs. Various family members were gathered around with the priest did the different rituals. The couple gives different offerings like coconuts and ...other stuff i'm not sure of. At one point there was a lot of smoke from incense, and then all the family threw rice or something on the couple. The husband's scarf and part of Shivani's sari were tied together, and they walked around the fire 7 times. Then they moved to a smaller dais that was all set up to receive guests and take pictures.

So the other half of the party plot, was open and was for the eating. And let me say that weddings are the most fabulous place to see tons and tons of amazing saris! I could sit and look all day long. So to the food - Around the edges of the plot were tables set up with appetizers. You just walked up, and they would serve you fresh..whatever it was. There were mini masala dosas, shish kebabs with paneer (which were really good and was pretty much all I ate), pani puri, chinese hakka noodles with manchurian dumplings, sev puri, and some other stuff I don't remember.

In the middle there was also a main meal, a thali sort of thing, but I didn't want roti and subji and all that, so I just stuck with the appetizers.