The answer to every ailment in India has something to do with turmeric - in Hindi 'Haldi' Now I know that it supposedly has remarkable health benefits, but seriously, they take it too damn far. I really try not to show any signs of feeling bad, because I know what the answer will be.
I had a bit of a sore throat. Now I knew exactly why- because I didn't have my decongestant medicine. My friend said drink some warm milk with 'haldi' Now Ok, i did try it, and it did help. For all of 10 minutes...
However, the haldi in milk doesn't work for everything, in that case you must make a turmeric paste and apply to the affected body part.
Ok, so I'll admit, I had some...let's say digestional issues for awhile. Ok, an entire damn month after I ate anything, it almost immediately came out the other end. In a country that doesn't use toilet paper and finding a decent restroom in public, this is very not good. Add on top of this, I started feeling very nauseous if I did eat anything. I went to the doctor several different times, and nothing yet had helped. So during this period, I mistakenly told my Hindi teacher that I had to go to the doctor. So then she just had to know why, so I told her.
Ok, let me preface this by saying, this woman has done her PhD and taught at Columbia University and has published several poetry books. Doesn't matter - you can't take India out of the Indian. When she heard about my ailment, she told me, oh just make this tea, put some ice cubes in it, some turmeric, and honey. Take it for 3 times only - not 4- 4 is unneccessary. Only 3 times will definitely cure it. I had to summon all my restraint not to yell at her, "Are you freaking crazy? What if it is some type of bacteria???? Yes, I'm sure the tea will do just the trick.." But it's not just that, I went to the doctor, the doctor said to eat curd and buttermilk - curd is this yoghurt stuff they eat here. Ok, now I'm not too picky, but I absolutely refuse to eat either of these, I really hate them at the best of times when I'm well.
Oh, then once when I threw up I was given a glass of water with some 'masala' - spices- that were good for upset stomach. So I took a sip and promptly spit it out. It wasn't enough that I had already puked, this bizarre spice mix would have made me hurl again!
*Note to my gramma - I am ok, and I can find food that I will eat here. I am not wasting away. Hahah, I promise..
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Well, at least now when I tell you the CAUSE for every ailment you have is a tape worm, you will know that the cure is..... TUMERIC!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
ReplyDeletep/s Gramma will never buy it.... expect a package as soon as she reads this!!
I just took a spoonful of tumeric and then choked and had to perform the hymlic and passed out then woke up in the middle of the street.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is 'A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down.. in the most delightful way'
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