I think it would be impossible not to become a more assertive person from staying in India. Sometimes it feels like you are constantly fighting here. With so many people trying to survive and make a living in this country, I guess it's not surprising! You constantly have to argue about things, to get things accomplished, to make sure the price is right, etc. But I think that's a good thing for me, it teaches you to stand up for yourself and ask for what you want. Some examples:
One of the funniest and strangest - I went to Havmor ice cream stand the other day. Now they have all kinds of popsicles, milk shakes, and more in addition to the tubs in the big freezer where the scoop it onto the cone. There were two flavors I wanted to try, so I ordered Cookies Cream and Chocolate Brownie in a cup. He was about to put each flavor in a separate cup, until I said no, no, just put both together. Completely straight-faced, he said, no I can't do that. It's against Havmor policy. I argued, no, I want them both together! What will they do? Fight if they're together??? Finally he said completely serious, ok, but I'm only doing it this one time.
Another thing - If you are waiting in line for something - anything - you cannot leave any space between you and the person in front of you. If you do, everyone will interpret this that you are not actually standing in line - you just happen to be milling around the line for the food stand. They will walk right in front of you and order. Even if you are standing at the counter, people will barge up and push their order and money in front of you. So any time I have to wait in a line now, I am constantly like some territorial animal guarding my space. Otherwise you will stand and wait while the line grows longer in front of you.
The other day I went to the doctor for the second time because of reoccuring stomach problems. After I explained to the doctor (a different one from the first time I want )she said, Well, what do you want me to do? What the hell???!! I thought. No actually I even said, I'm not a doctor! You tell me what I should do!
We haven't been able to cook in our flat for at least 3 days now because our gas cylindar ran out. You have to have a connection in your name in order to order a new one, but ours has apparently run out, and it would takes weeks to begin a new one and get the cylinder. Our neighbors don't have an extra one we can take and once they order once, they can't order another for 15 days. Since day one, Haider contacted his friend for us who said he would get one for us. Every day he says, today after such-and-such time and every time it ends up - no, tomorrow it will come. Our final option is having our apartment broker get it for us. However this will cost about 3 times the normal amount of a gas cylinder.
So you see, you not only do you have to be extremely patient in India, but also very persistent and very assertive!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
haha.. you're quite right.. i think if darwin had lived in India he'd have come up with his theory much faster based on human experience rather than observing finches on random islands :D On a more serious note.. assertiveness is good anyhow in life i think.. its the transition to aggression i'd worry about. Ahd is tame and sweet compared to Delhi dont you think?
ReplyDeleteAs for the cylinder.. ask Rashmi to check with Payal.. she might be able to help out.
yeah, no i think it is definitely a good thing to be assertive; it will be a good lesson that I will have taken from India. I can't say about Delhi, really I've spent such limited time there, but I can imagine it's much worse there!
ReplyDeleteI would have very little short fuse whith people who barged in front of me.
ReplyDeleteYou have been becoming more assertive in the last couple of years, so these situations in India will just keep that ball rolling! Just don't come home being an old mean grouch!! ha! The NERVE of you to want 2 different types of ice cream on one cone!!!!
ReplyDeleteNot on one cone! just in one cup! They were going to put them in two separate cups.
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny about the ice cream.. did you actually ask him if he thought the flavors would fight? LOL. I would have said.. do you want my money? Because if you do, you're putting them in the same cup. That's hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThat's good that it's making you more assertive.. Living on your own will always do that I think, but especially in another country..
Yeah, I think I asked if they would fight, but he probably didn't understand me. And anyway he was completely serious. I don't think living on my own in the US made me much more assertive actually, but here you literally have to argue with everyone you meet to get things accomplished. I had to argue at the doctors to get them to do a stool sample. And then I had to argue with the lab to send my report direct to the doctor. Otherwise I had to go pick it up and give it to the doc myself, despite it being in the same building.
ReplyDeleteHave you gotten the doctor-related stuff sorted out?
ReplyDelete